11,800 miles

That's how far away Hutch is. 11,800 miles. Not even the Proclaimers would walk that far. I could get to Paris and back 27 times for that and still have change.

11,800 miles. A fair distance, sure, but still not quite as long as Big Hutch's arm span, which clocked in at just over 14,000 miles at last check. He's obviously continued to grow exponentially since then though, so who knows what the current figure is.

Thinking about this got me wondering just how many people in the UK are called Miles. Apparently it's 3,898. One of those is my cousin, tru fak. But still, you could take every single Miles in the UK, even the few that haven't been subjected to a life of cruel ridicule, and you'd have to multiply that group by three to have one Miles for every mile Hutch is away from us. It's in these terms that it finally hits home.

Where am I going with this? Nowhere, really. But I also checked just how many people go by the name James Hutchings in the UK. Apparently there are 59 of them. Who the fuck do they think they are? Well, let's be fair - there's 58 at the moment, seeing as our James Hutchings is currently not in the UK. Actually, it could be much less than that, judging by his rapidly expanding J-Dogs currently decamping to the southern hemisphere.

This scientifically sound research was made possible through the grammatically frustrating www.yournotme.com - a tool that proves mildly interesting for a minute or so.

Anyway.

11,800 miles may well be a hell of distance, but he's as close to all of our hearts as he's ever been.