Here we are, worrying our socks off after that frankly unbelievable decision to do a bungee jump, and just when we think he's realised the error of his ways he decides to sit on something called a "death chair". You know what happens to people when they sit in death chairs? They die. Or for the dyslexic among them, they lose their hearing. So you're either dead or deaf. Or both. Brilliant.
But merely sitting down in this "death chair" wasn't enough for the Big Man. Nope. He decided to swing off the side of a bloody mountain on it. You'll no doubt have already picked up on my propensity for italicising certain sections of this post. That's for emphasis. To let you know just how angry I am.
And it's not just me that's crawling the walls. What about his bloody parents, Mama and Papa Hutch? Well, suffice to say that Big Tim's not happy either:
"Tim Hutchings at 7:39am July 9
Your mother is still taking valium from your last escapade, though she has been released from the 'funny farm'. Your passion for falling off high spots must cease immediately. Enough is enough! You must find a greater will to live. We will arrange counselling on your return."
Wise words indeed. But will he learn? Will he fuck. As yet there's no footage of the ordeal taking place, but from what I'm led to believe the chair looks a little something like this:
For God's sake Hutch come home in one piece.
No comments:
Post a Comment